And, well, it didn't go anywhere close to how I expected it to.
At the last appointment I had, I expressed concerns at going over 40 weeks as baby would be fully cooked but if something went wrong it'd likely go unnoticed until it was too late. The immediate response was that I would be booked in for induction at 40 weeks and that is what today's appointment was supposed to be about, just booking me in for induction. It was all so casual.
I had noticed in my notes afterwards that she did make it sound like it was arranged more at my insistence but I didn't see what difference it made... Until today.
I have had about 5 or 6 consultant appointments during my pregnancy and not once have I seen the same person, but they have all been sympathetic about the IVF and even pandered to me to a point, but I just took what I could.
Well, today I came up against a real ball breaker.
That is, after being unable park in the usual place because of a massive queue and then having to wait for 90 minutes before being seen.
Anyway, we walk into the appointment room and she looks ready for battle as she hold my notes in her hands. "So... Why exactly do you think you neede to be induced at 40 weeks?"
She'd caught me completely off guard because I'd been lead to believe it was a done deal so I simply stated that the last consultant had voluntarily told me that the induction would be arranged because I expressed concerns about leaving the baby inside any longer than necessary.
She corrected me that I'd only seen one consultant before today, implying she was also a consultant, and the other people I'd seen were just senior registrars (whatever the fuck that means). She continued that the consultant had not made any reference to me requiring induction.
Then she went on about IVF not requiring special treatment and the pregnancy being fine and therefore she did not want me to be induced until 40+12 (aka 41+5).
I found myself feeling quite frustrated and arguing the odds with her but not because I disagreed with what she said but because it seemed every single appointment had lead up to this point and right at the last minute, this random person was undoing it all and I was being made to feel that I was having to make important decisions off the cuff that should have been being made by someone else already.
She was so sure of everything not being in my favour for an induction at 40 weeks and I even tried to compromise and come in to be checked for induction and if I wasn't favourable then not to bother, but she just matter of factly told me that I wouldn't be favourable.
She decided to change tact and had me up on the bed for the nurse to do my BP and she did my engagement too as requested. As I hopped on the bed she told me that it was too early for engagement also.
BP was normal and she had to concede that baby was very low in my pelvis and I got a 3/5 score which means baby is in and won't be coming back out again.
My pee was normal too.
Back into my seat and I was really thrown when she started up again by asking when I wanted to book in my induction for. Seriously. WTF?!?!?!
She'd spent all this time telling me how unnecessary it was and then laid the decision back at my feet.
I explained that I didn't want to be induced, I wanted what was best for my baby and I wanted to be told what that was. So she said 40+12 again and then phoned up to book me in for the 27th January at 8am.
I might add that it took about 20 mins for her to be able to get through to the induction booking in people and she kept popping out, I assume to double check everything she had told me like my blood thinners only needing to be stopped within 12 hours and not 24 hours like I was previously told.
We just sat there, deliberately criticizing the system in front of the attending student midwife and the nurse.
She'd wrote a big essay in my notes and checked and double checked that it conformed with what we'd agreed upon. Funnily the fact that at one point she said she'd accept personal responsibility that induction wasn't necessary was excluded.
She was a bit of a bitch about the sweeps too. I told her that the midwife said I could have two within a few days of each other in anticipation of the induction but only if she wrote in my notes to allow it. She wouldn't. She said she'd allow one at 40 and one at 40+7. I reckon I might be able to blag a couple of extras though because the midwife told me that I could make an appointment for a sweep at a postnatal clinic.
It turned out she wasn't a consultant herself either, just another senior registrar like the last one.
As we left, I realised that I felt pretty angry. Not because of what the consultant had said or because I wasn't having an induction but because right from the beginning I'd set out to be treated like any other pregnant women but had been plyed with compassion and sympathy and the perks that entailed up until the point where I'd become dependant upon them and then at the last minute they are pulled away from me on the whim of an individual at the last minute.
It's quite a trauma.
Not being a sufferer, I don't do self pity. I get mad. I fume and I rebel.
I will get this baby out at 40 weeks! I will I will I will. You can't not induce me you bitch. I don't need your stupid induction anyway because me and my little girl are going to figure something out.
As soon as I figure out how to pull her from under my ribs...
A request from James:
James would like me to inform you that as we were trying to leave, he went to the pay machine and it spat his change out into the mud in the dark and swallowed his ticket, the ticket needed to exit. He therefore spent 20 mins (it seemed like 10 to me) talking to the guy on the intercom. It made him very mad and it was the worst hospital visit ever! The end.
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