First Midwife Appointment - 11+3

The appointment with my midwife was yesterday, so when I was actually 11+2, so quite late in the scheme of things.

When I originally phoned up my GP at 8 weeks to see the community midwife I was told that I needed to see her between 8-10 weeks and then told she wasn't free until three weeks later, so not a very reassuring start.

My problem is that admittedly I'm really quite cynical regarding the Nhs to start with, having more than one family member who work within it and listened to all the stories of incompetence and bitching and a genuine lack of compassion.

Add that to my own sense of putting in way more via taxes than I have ever been able to access and I guess I'm poised to seek the negatives to validate my preconceived opinions rather than the good points, but being aware of this help to keep me opened minded in spite of myself and that is what I did.

Needless to say the whole thing was the farse that I expected.

I'm welcomed in and sat down at the desk and after a brief introduction she starts rummaging around for "the forms". I'd been pre warned that this would be a long 60+ mins appointment due to all the form filling so I braced myself for a thud upon the desk as she heaved them down, however I was surprised that she carefully placed only about three pages in front of her.

Name, address, marital status, ethnic origin, religion... Oh, better take my weight and height.

Then she asked which maternity unit and suddenly I felt on the spot, like I was making a huge decision based on absolutely nothing. I asked if she had any recommendations knowing full well I didn't value her opinion in the slightest and that there was just one unit on the internet that seemed like the logical choice, so basically I didn't really have any choice.

She still made a crack at a couple of units though, the one that I was leaning towards in Derby and she also pointed out that a lot of women she sees pick one in Nottingham. I asked which is better and she reassured me that the one in Derby was better so that was that. Another form was filled.

The final form was the health medical history and she streamed off a list of conditions of which I had none and then I informed her of the medications that I'm on as my of my IVF immune treatment. She wrote them all down looking very perplexed and then announced I'd definitely be consultant lead care and that she'd have to phone ahead and see if the consultant would see me at my 12 week ultrasound.

She was one the phone for ages and she kept referring back to me asking what each medication was for and I felt a bit like an idiot because I don't really know. I never really acknowledged there being anything wrong with my fertility so all these medications are just precautionary and uninteresting as far as I'm concerned. The thing is though that I want my blood clotting to continued to be managed because clots are a definite cause of healthy pregnancy loss particularly in the later stages.

She confirmed with me I wanted a nuchal scan measurement doing at my 12 weeks scans and it was all booked over the phone. They would also try to get me to see the consultant at the same time but could I bring a note from my fertility consultant explaining my current prescriptions.

I listened on as the topic changed on the phone and they were joking around with each other about work and my midwife must have forgotten herself because she even made a joke about just sending all the patients at my GP to Derby and all the patients at another GP to Nottingham.

When she was off the phone she must have known what I was thinking before I asked for clarification about which unit she thought was better. Derby, she said, was much more involved in continuous risk assessment whereas Nottingham was more laid back in their approach. Needless to say the summary of Nottingham appealed more to me because I don't want to be intruded upon during labour, but trying to be sensible Derby still makes more sense.

So, all the forms filled, it was time to take blood for several things of which I'd get told the results only if they required action. That went surprising well considering my veins are crap.

I sat down again, realising I'd been in there for an hour already, and she handed me a bounty pack and a blue folder.

The date of my 12 week scan was confirmed for the day after my 12 week scan at my fertility clinic, so I'm getting two consecutive scans, and she told me with a very serious face that I must take my blue folder with me and the documents insides or they won't do the scan when I arrive (because they can't checked the computer to confirm my identity and appointment?!).

I know I'm going to forget them!

Anyway. That was that. As I was leaving she informed me that there was a number if I ever needed to speak to her but she was very rarely actually available so to just speak to whoever is free. Very reassuring.

I wondered out, realised the appointment had been closer to 80 minutes and I wondered why it took so bloody long.

I felt my opinions has sadly been validated. It just wasn't what I'd hoped for really and I suppose I must have been naive to expect the enthusiastic midwife dedicated just to me and putting herself forward as a person to be relied upon during what is a very significant time in someone's life.

No question about me having a doula now!

Oh, and the famous bounty pack... What a crock. It's like a collection of all the spam mail they want to send you but haven't been accidentally given permission to by one of their third party partners.

I get another pack - if I fill out an address form. Yeah, like I'm that stupid!