Friday 8 November 2013

Second Nhs Antenatal Class - 8/11/13

It was the second and final installation of the Nhs antenatal classes and this one focused on becoming parents. Most people seem to assume that this one is pointless but I actually found it quite interesting.

Again, the class was over subscribed so the room was packed and they started by asking us each to give our name and what we liked to do... wtf. I "liked" yoga.

Once the lap of embarrassment concluded at James, they moved onto introducing the first topic for discussion - "Feeding".

It was a bit bizarre because they acknowledged that it was either breastfeeding or formula feeding and insisted that they will support mums in either but then refused to advocate formula feeding as a comparative alternative. Everything they said contradicted their attempt to assure that all mums would be supported equally regardless of their choice. They were obviously set against formula feeding.

I personally believe in breastmilk. I don't like formula feeding and in spite of many of the reasons given for not breastfeeding including those revolving about not being physically able to breastfeed, I often can't help but feel that even then they just don't try hard enough.

However, I really resent midwives being so biased.

The first task was to get into groups and make a list of the advantages and disadvantages of breastfeeding.

One of the husbands suggested that breastfeeding caused less colonic as an advantage, he obviously meant colic... It gave us a giggle anyway and the scoffs about it being close enough for a man came from a few people.

Then the midwives went through the lists and offered their own comments.

The advantages included things like antibodies, reduced colic and IBS, long term association with digestive health, etc, etc. Basically anything that indicated that your baby would have a better quality of health.

The disadvantages of breastfeeding included things like not being able to eat/drink exactly what you want, being tied to baby all the time, etc. Anything that implied that you was a selfish cow who had no business having kids in the first place.

We discussed breast feeding in more detail afterwards and I learned a few things such as baby not needing to be winded after breast feeding unlike with formula feeding and also that a Savoy cabbage made a wonderful cooled breast soother - just pull a leaf off and stick it into your bra as and when needed!

The topic of discussion then turned to the first several months of parenting and what was associated with each stage.

I was a bit shocked to learn that not only do baby girls have a bit of discharge but some also have a period! Not a proper period, but still a bit of bloody discharge when wiping!

Also, they informed us that the umbilical cord stump basically rots off. I had assumed it just dries up like a scab and falls off but apparently it stays moist and rots with slime and ooze and an overwhelming stink! Ick.

Finally, a health visitor came into the class and attempted to inform us about her role. She seemed to feel under appreciated whereas I immediately felt contempt towards her role.

Her point of view was that she visits and checks that baby and mum was ok while pushing immunisation on pre arranged dates. She made herself sound like part of the family.

What she actually does is have a nosey and assesses competence without invitation, more like an intruder.

I remember being at a relatives one time, visiting the new arrival, and she was hardly dressed and looking really rough and suffering from the runs. She was actually on the toilet while I sat with the baby and there was a knock at the door closely followed by a face at the window and the next thing I knew she was in the living room and introducing herself as she started filling out notes. It was the health visitor.

The floor was opened to questions and the only burning question I had was if we could opt out of health visits. I might have asked if James wasn't there or my yoga friend wasn't there for fear of them being embarrassed by my bitter dislike for something of which I've got no real personal experience.

And that was it.


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