We turned up and couldn't believe it - car park full! What the hell do we do if that happens on the day?
I know there are 30 min drop off bays, but I don't want James to have to abandon me while I'm in labour to go and find a bloody parking space. It's rediculous.
Anyway so we get inside and wait for the scan. I'd bought an OK! magazine to keep me occupied as there is normally a long wait to see the consultant after the scan so I was flicking through it and reading some story on Caprice having twins. It was kind of relatable because she had IVF etc but she made it clear that her career was still her top priority. I don't care who you are, you don't have two full time childminders and plans to stop breastfeeding at 3 months when you have more than enough money to dedicate the rest of your life to them nevermind the next 12 months at least.
We get called into the scan room about 15 minutes late so no big deal and I hop upon the bed. The lady kept on referring the "the baby" as "it" even though I kept on saying "she" and "her". She didn't want to acknowledge the gender at all.
She asked me when my due date was and I told her 18th Jan based on my IVF and she seemed to enter it into the computer which pleased me. I'm sick of my notes referring to the due date as the 15th Jan just because of the wonky measurements at 12 weeks.
She started by showing me the heart was beating.
I asked to know what the orientation of her was and her weight because these are things that lots of girls have commented on and I haven't known those things.
She didn't have a problem with that and told me that she was breech, with her spine down my left and her legs extended downwards.
She said she'd have to tell me the weight after the measurements because that is what it is worked out from.
So she did the measurements of the abdomen, the femur and the head. As she did the measurements I was aware of a gestation reading changing and most of them seemed to fall at 25+something so I was a bit worried with me being 26+3.
I asked about a photo but she could only see her from the front view and in the end I declined having one because they just weren't very nice images. They looked like a broken dolls face with hollow features and parts missing.
At one point we could make out most of the face and James started gushing when her forehead started moving. Oh hang on, it must have been looking at her upside down and that was actually her mouth taking in a deep breath. It would have been really cute to see the right way up...
Luckily James was doing a sneaky filming job so I hoped to see it later.
We went back out into the waiting room when it finished and I felt a bit indifferent. I just felt I couldn't see much. James was much more impressed. He really likes the 2D scans whereas I think they are crap. I prefer the 3D scans which of course he thinks are crap!
So we head to the consultant waiting room and discover it's an hour wait so I grab my... What the fuck! Where is my magazine?!?!?! I had it just before the scan so I go back to ask them to look in the scan room, nope not there - some bastard nicked it! James says I had it after the scan so within about 2 minutes it was gone. Bastards. I only read one story :( Fucking bastards. Major sulk.
A looooooooong 50 minutes later we were called in to see yet another different consultant, I'm three for three now. There was strangely no nurse present so he flicked through my notes and commented on the IVF like they all do as if they are informing me of something I didn't already know.
He asked if I'd had any issues and I explained to him that just yesterday I had an awful razor sharp pain in my bum and vagina that lasted for a couple of hours until I eventually fell asleep and woke up to find it had gone, but it was agony at the time.
Then he asked for my pee sample and proceeded to dip it himself while he sent me to lie on the bed.
I couldn't believe it when he came over to take my blood pressure himself too. I figured maybe a nurse wasn't always present afterall until he started fumbling to take my reading.
He extended my arm out and seriously I was about 1cm for tickling his balls for him. I curled in my fingers not knowing what else to do and hoped that he didn't get distracted and take a step forward.
He was busy trying to untangle the knot of tube he'd created and finally took the reading. He said that my pee sample was crystal clear from any issues and my blood pressure was perfect so he redeemed himself a little as those kind of bold positive statements are always welcome.
Then he asked me to lift my top to expose my tummy and he started feeling it in relation to the pains I'd complained of. I was a bit concerned he might move onto my bum and vagina area, but he stated that my stomach was soft and therefore the pains were not related to contractions (which I didn't think they were anyway) and he asked if I had any pains in my hips or bladder which I said I did if they were pressed so he concluded I was merely suffering from ligament pains.
Forgive me, but I guess comprehending vaginal stabbing pains isn't really within the ability of a man.
I know the agony I was in wasn't contractions nor ligament pains. I anticipated he might have said something like internal piles (James diagnosis) but I couldn't help but have a big old eye roll at just how useless he was in that regard.
During this conversation a huge nurse came into the room and started fumbling with my pees ample but James told her the consultant had done it already. Then she asked about my blood pressure and was surprised to hear he'd done that too. She made out he'd been really quick to get everything done in her absence but in reality she'd been missing for ages.
He asked if I had any other questions and I asked him about a consultant lead labour but he assured me it wouldn't be by default just because I'd had consultant lead care during my pregnancy.
Another scan at 34 weeks he said. Then he made out he'd changed his mind to 32 weeks, but I know full well he'd just read the notes that the previous consultant had made. Why they do that I don't know.
Then when we left the receptionist had a fit because the date for the 32 week appointment was one where the clinic was closed and she'd told them several times. So off she went and came back with an appointment for 33 weeks but discovered they were fully booked. She huffed off again and came back with an appointment for 34 weeks ironically.
Then we left. I've been worried sick about her being breech since, but it's good to know for definite what movements are the hands and which are her feet.
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