Tuesday 24 December 2013

Getting Groomed For Baby - 24/12/13

I suppose most people spend Christmas Eve doing Christmasy type stuff like meeting friends, food preparation, last minute shopping, etc.

Me? I went to the hairdressers for a "pamper".

It started off nice enough with a cut and blow, just taking the dry ends off. I like the girl that does my hair and because I'm not one of those people who go regularly - more like every 6 months than 6 weeks - she was amazed by my bump. I assumed that she was sick of talking about Christmas so it seemed like a welcome distraction to her and we chatted about kids and family and things instead.

The odd thing was that she exclaimed how tiny my bump was. That was the exact word she used "tiny". She is very tiny herself, about 5 foot tall and I'd guess a size 6 but not boney, so I would have thought that she in particular would regard my bump as super huge with it being about four or five of her tiny tummy.

Of course, I was slightly offended. It turns out that you just can't win when it comes to commenting on bumps... Huge is harsh. Tiny is harsh. Average is harsh. I would advise people that the only way to win would be to comment on what a beautiful neat shape it is, I always like hearing that.

So, I got my hair done (it's looks exactly the same) and then it was time for the second installment of the grooming session... A full body wax.

You would have been mistaken if you assumed that my trip to the local salon was for Christmas. I'm here to get spruced up for when baby arrives.

Technically she could come at any moment from here on out, but she'll definitely be here within the next 26 days anyway!

Personal grooming is a sticky issue when it comes to having a baby and ladies seem to be divided on whether it is necessary or not. I personally have no idea why anyone would risk going in with monkey legs, man pits and an untamed bush. 

Yes, the baby doesn't care and yes, the midwife has seen it all and much worse but c'mon! If the person who only gets her hair cut biannually and is extremely familiar with intimate examinations feels it's necessary - it's necessary! I'm having a baby. I'm going to lose control of many if not all of my bodily functions but I am NOT prepared to allow people to think that I had no dignity to lose in the first place nor to regain afterwards. I do.

So yes, a full body wax was in order. I can't shave without risking my labia and I can't use Veet without risking some third degree chemical burns, or else I would have opted for those.

The general consensus regarding waxing? The it really fucking hurts. The general consensus regarding waxing during pregnancy? That it really really really fucking hurts.

I admittedly was very scared. Full leg, bikini, underarms and eyebrows.

The girl that was doing it gushed how huge my bump was (bitch) and before I knew it I was covered in wax and having the flesh ripped from my bones. Actually my legs didn't hurt that much, kind of a 3 out of 10.

We were chatting away and she was a really nice girl. I innocently asked her if she had kids and she openly started telling me about a termination and miscarriage that she'd suffered. The termination was a result of the baby having a very thick band of fluid behind its neck at 12 weeks that actually extended around the back of its head and down it's back. She was told that it was a very grim prognosis and that was that. The she lost another with no heartbeat detected. She had since been ttc for 2 years without a pregnancy.

This was without her even knowing that I'd had IVF so I found her openness refreshing. You ask a simple question and someone feels that they have something to tell you about themselves that they really didn't have to. I don't believe for a second that she doesn't tell everyone who asks the same thing, but it's always welcome to me when someone is actively putting themselves out there. It's how things are put into perspective and overcome.

As it turned out today she told me and I wasted no time in finding out her background and history and things and before I left she'd decided upon her New Years resolution - going back to the GP!

Unfortunately my interest in her situation wasn't enough to distract me from her doing my bikini wax. That was more like a 7 out of 10, it really did sting. My whole body had tensed and I had to concentrate really hard on remembering to breathe.

She was a funny one and suggested it was preparation for labour. Holy cow I hope not!  Perhaps that could be on par with an episiotomy? I have no idea, but there was a sudden sharp cutting sensation about it.

Armpits were fine and eyebrows were fine. All in all I don't think it hurt any more than it would do if I wasn't pregnant.

Several hours later and I'm red and sore in my groin. I've applied copious amounts of Savlon cream and I just hope the sting has gone by tomorrow morning.

I'm not even that smooth really. Well, my bikini is, but my legs still feel a little stubbly in places so if it grows back over the next few days I'll have to go back.


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