What a day.
I wake up and in the same manner that my hand has done for the past month, it reaches down to feel my solid little bump.
This morning? No bump.
I feel around and there is nothing there, i feel completely flat and squidgy. So, i start to freak out like any rational first time mum to be would do. I actually wondered for a brief moment if i was actually ever pregnant and if it was all just a crazy dream.
I've had plenty of pregnancy dreams before only to wake up broken hearted.
I went for a wee while contemplating what happened to my bump and fortunately after the epic wee - it returned! Phew! I don't normally wake up bursting and i can only assume it has been lifted into an unfamiliar position where i couldn't feel it.
Drama over, it was time to do some gardening and then i had a bath so that we could set off for the gender scan.
After making the scan appointment i had recieved a letter containing lots of capital letters and "very importants" basically telling me what to do in the run up to the scan.
It included staying very hydrated for a week in advance, eating a meal 2 hours before, having a sugary snack and a walk 20 minutes before and not poking baby because "it doesn't like it". This stated by the company who makes its money off poking babies.
First stop was Nandos for the meal. Then we walked around IKEA so i could get myself a stool to DIY into a birthing stool (i kid you not). Then we headed to the scan premises, along the way i munched down a Double Decker but i haven't eaten a chocolate bar since before i was even pregnant so i really hard to force it down. It was so sickly sweet.
When we finally arrived, it wasn't really what i was expecting. The outside was really grubby and i questioned whether i should even go inside, but when i did it seemed nicer. That was until i was met by the attendant.
He was loud and intrusive and although in one way i warmed to his apparent friendliness, in another way i found the whole thing rather unprofessional. He was instantly calling me Looby Lou when getting my attention and telling me how much all his machines cost and how much debt he was in paying for them.
When i told him i wanted the scan recording he told me no and that the baby would be too small for that even though i've already got decent looking videos from as early as 8 weeks. I explained that i'd emailed and was told it would be fine, but he said no. That was until i elaborated that the email said it would cost me £20 and all of a sudden everything was ok!
"Princess, it's your turn to go in", so i headed into the scan room and was greeted by two women. One who was manning the ultrasound probe and the other who i didn't know the role of really.
I explained to them about not wanting to know the gender but wanting the whole thing on DVD and i wouldn't look at the screen and they didn't have to say a thing during the whole scan. They said that would be fine.
So they get started and as it turns out the second womens role is to provide the running commentary and she was apparently going to do it regardless of my request.
"Oh baby just butted your bladder! The heart is beating well and everything looks great".
Then they did the gender bit while i looked away, which was tricky with there being a screen on every wall. Instead i closed my eyes.
Then i was told by gobbo that it was ok to look from now on. I expressed that it was probably not a good idea but she assured me that they do these all the time and that they have to zoom in close to see anything so i wouldn't be able to see anything just looking at the baby.
I risked a peek just to see baby open it's mouth really wide.
"Oh baby is yawning, awww look at that! Can you see that?!"
I watched on as the baby continued to hold it's mouth open... It seemed to me that the baby was crying, not yawning. All evidence suggests that my baby does not like being scanned.
"Awwww theres the little legs kicking away! Can you see that?! Isn't is amazing!!!"
Common sense dictated to me that if you can see the legs and don't want to know the gender that you should stop watching, so at this point i did and didn't look again.
Instead i endured the horse race style running commentary that was a bit redundant on someone not watching the screen. I was just focused on keeping everything crossed that she didn't slip up during her ramblings.
At one point i actually thought that she had done. She said something like "It's really hard to see the gender at this stage, even with boys. With boys even at a later stage it's tricky, any boys". There was an irregularity in the volume and pace at which she said it. She seemed to say boys really loudly, like she choked on the word. At the time i was sure she'd blabbed but as time goes on it becomes easier to dismiss as a general comment.
There was one nice thing she said. She said something about the baby keeping it's hands near to it's head so we'd have to get it some mittens once it was born. I found that sweet, to think of it haven't a personality trait already.
At one point she claimed it was chewing on it's arm too.
The deal was for a DVD with the scan video on it and then 15 photos without the gender on a CD and then 4 of those photos printed off.
When the scan was finished and i went back to the reception, i was met by the smell coming off the guy before he actually reached me. His behaviour suddenly made sense. He was pissed! No joke, from the smell of him he must have bathed in the stuff. How i'd missed it before i have no idea.
"Looooooooby Lou Looby Lou Lou Lou - how'd it go?"
He was harmless enough and he got the photos up and explained that i needed to write down the corresponding numbers of the prints i wanted out of the 10 (?!) photos taken.
Flicking through them, they were all shit, and one actually showed the genitals on it. Luckily, i don't know if that particular view of the genitals is a girl or a boy because it basically showed two tiny glowing circles between the legs that you might think testicles but could also be the labia majora i guess.
The running trend in all the photos was that the baby was crying. I'll have to google if they do cry at this stage but the mouth was wide open anyway - poor baby.
I paid and left and went back to James who was waiting in the car. I'd made him stay there for damage limitation if they did blab. I was aware that i was smirking when i got into the car, probably because i felt they'd blabbed, and his first question was if i knew the gender to which i replied that i didn't.
I showed him the photos and he was clearly disappointed by them because he asked if everything was ok because the baby looked so distorted. Maybe he had high expectations on what the baby would look like considering the clarity of the last scan which was about 6 weeks ago.
I explained to him that we have a squarking baby who likes to self harm and he seemed quite content with that. Baby is clearly as antisocial as we are... girl or boy - it's a Brown!
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