Midwife Appointment - 35+2

Had my midwife appointment today and am starting to get that feel of familiarity with her. She's nice.

There was a student midwife there too who looked sweet, if uncomfortable. She was on her first placement apparently.

As I walked in she took the pee sample and handed it to the student to dip. It was clear which was a relief after the protein in it recently. She told me she'd be taking my blood count too just for routine and not because I look pale, because I always do! The cheek! There will come a time people comment on my wrinkle free complexion and then it'll be my turn to mock.

She was keen to know if baby had turned and she was amazed that she had, but I offered her my suspicion that perhaps she stopped being breech right after my 26 week scan. She still thought it was very unusual with her legs being described as extended that she could turn.

I told her about my consultant appointment and planned induction and she asked me how I felt about it. I don't really feel anything about it. I'm still able to be niave about my chances of coaxing her out (or into a very favourable situation) before the induction and I'm also niave about how induction will be managed and progress.

She made it clear that a csection would occur if induction didn't work within the allotted timeframe but she was supportive of getting her out in advance. She told me that I must get the consultant to write in my notes that the community midwife can perform a sweep for me and although they are only allowed to do one attempt, she talked about fitting me in for a couple.

She also talked about hand expressing in the run up to induction. I'm unsure whether it was in relation to getting her out before the induction or due to the unnatural nature of induction/csec or perhaps both, but she thought it was very important and would ensure a better milk supply. 

She made a generalisation that women who conceive via IVF have a harder time with milk production because conception is unnatural but admitted it was just a speculation of hers. I think it's bullshit personally, or at least a result of the reasons for needing IVF or higher induction and csec rates with IVF and not because it's an extension of the artificial nature of the conception.

So then it was up on the bed and the student did my blood pressure. I've never understood the reading so when she asked the midwife to check it I thought something was wrong but it wasn't. It was normal.

Then it was belly out and the student measured my bump which came back at 35 - weeks or cm I don't know. The midwife said fine.

The student then used the doppler and got a heart rate of 136, so it's starting to slow a little as expected I think.

I warned them she was very active but they still squee'd as they poked around and she gave them a good thrashing as if it had never happened before. They both felt for her position and pointed out her foot to me and she karate kicked them in response. I'm sure she was trying to be helpful but just like me she tends to go about it like a bull in a china shop lol

The the midwife came over to check her engagement and she felt me very low indeed, I'm sure my natural hair colour was on show at this point. She kind had her hand in a pinscher shape and held the head and wiggled it side to side. It was really quite uncomfortable, like she was poking a fresh bruise, and she said the head wasn't engaged quite yet because she could wiggle it. Not much she added, but it wasn't locked in place yet.

I was a little disappointed but not much. I just felt I wanted her to be engaging for some reason, probably because of the induction talk.

She expertly took my blood from my non-existent veins while James looked away and then it was back into my chair.

More giggles erupted as my belly continued to visibly bounce around. There was lots of awwww's from the midwife and student and pride from daddy. It might seem cute, but it knew that my little girl was majorly pissed. She's so funny.

Then it was a case of asking if I had any more questions, yes I did but typically my mind failed me.

I wanted to asked her about feeling like I've been kicked in the crotch but forgot, although it has suddenly got much worse since she checked baby's engagement so I'm thinking it must just be linked to that kind of movement on my pelvis.

She made me another appointment for 37 and sent us on our way.

35 Weeks Pregnant

Ok, it's not funny anymore, time is going stupidly quickly.

I cannot believe I'm another week down! I haven't made a single bit of progress on anything all week, the panic to box tick is still in effect but the motivation is at an all time low.

I'm not even particularly tired or in pain, I just can not be arsed.

I think that I've started adopting a "everything will be fine" mantra for the upcoming labour and motherhood and things and it's rubbing off on all aspects. It will be fine if people don't get Xmas cards before Xmas. It will be fine if the nursery walls aren't finished. It will be fine if my hospital bag isn't packed until I'm heading into hospital.

Will it?! I dunno.

All I do know is that I'm not letting anything or anyone distract me from the excitement and anticipation of being a mummy, and all those who attempt to can do one. I have a zero tolerance for any source of drama and omg there has been a couple of those this week!

It never ceases to amaze me how people envision themselves to be all moral and righteous, but always reveal themselves as being nothing more than conceited and pompous as soon as they open their mouths.

Urgh, I'm not even getting into it. It might be a right nobby thing to say, but I have more important things to deal with! I'm going to have a child, I can no longer participate in classroom antics myself.

Belly-wise, it's still delicious. I love how my bump looks, lovely and round. And big! I bought these dresses from Tesco in the sale (so about £5 each) and they are just up and down dresses made out of elasticated material, nothing special, but they make my bump look fantastic!!! 

I got them in a size bigger than pre-pregnancy and I can see people's eyes being drawn right to my belly and having an expression that makes me think that they're a bit nervous I could cause a slip hazard at any moment lol

Even my yoga friend, who is actually more like my swimming friend now but whatever, commented on my dress. I looked at her in her pants and top combo and even though her bump is just as big, it didn't look that way and I think it bothered her mwhahaha ;)

Oh I did have a bit of a pregnancy related drama. At my consultation they spotted protein+ in my urine but dismissed it pretty much but then a couple of days later I wiped green which made me worry about the infection so I went straight to the GP to get my urine done again. Well, I mainly just wanted some specific advice on which over the counter stuff to use but they redid my urine. It came back protein trace so again it was dismissed and they told me to simply drink more.

I guess I have been slacking a bit on the water but it's so hard to drink when you have a gut full of baby and you know that within 10 minutes of drinking a decent amout of water that you'll be needing to pee every 5 minutes for the next hour.

I've been keeping on top of it though. Its so much fun needing James to stop at every single petrol station with a loo (ick) when we're out and getting up 15 times a night but needs must I suppose.

I'm in a bit of a losing battle with my aches and pains too. I have a choice of having a bad back from sitting on my ball all day (I thought they were supposed to be great at aligning your back too) or I can support my back but get an extremely sore coccyx from sitting in my chair.

I do have an exciting new symptom which is the sensation of being kicked in the crotch. It's like someone literally booted me and I am left with the lingering bruised feeling in my lady lips and in the fatty bit at the top.

I was hoping maybe it was related to engagement, but a google search has a few ladies who have experienced it but some much earlier in pregnancy. 

Plus baby is still quite high up, well I say high up but she's been very wiggly today and she does feel different. She's normally on the left but she feels more on the right now.

Gosh she's big. Thinking back to how weird it was imagining this thing growing inside my belly, it doesn't compare to trying to get my head around this fully formed baby who is totally capable of surviving outside residing in my belly.

I've come to see her as a scuba diver.

Forgot to do my weight today, but I'll throw it up tomorrow with a pic of me in my cheapo belly dress.

Ultrasound and Consultant - 34+3

I had my scan and consultation today which was supposed to be at 32 weeks but they couldn't get me in until today.

I'd been anticipating this appointment for a while due to thinking that my baby was breech which would have meant I would have had a lot of things to discuss, but with baby no longer being breech I was feeling a bit meh about it.

So I get called in for my ultrasound, surprisingly by a male tech. I don't really understand men opting into careers that really require a women's perspective, so I was a bit put off and if I was braver I might have asked for a female one.

Instead I got on the bed and exposed my tummy, at which point he looked away and threw some tissue in my direction for me to tuck into my waistband - a job normally done by the tech themselves.

Instantly I felt very awkward and he went on to explain that he always does his ultrasounds with the women facing the bed height screen, even if there is a wall screen (which there wasn't today).

He started the scan and immediately his arm was completely blocking my view! Annoyingly I then realised that James wasn't even recording it today! He later explained that it's no fun watching it through a phone camera - pfft.

I tried to shuffle up the bed which he assumed was due to discomfort so I told him I couldn't see anything. He said he'd keep his arm as low as possible but that lasted about 2 minutes.

So peeking at the screen from under his armpit, I saw her heart beat and everything else. Her legs, her ribs, her profile zzzzzzzzzzzzz. I'm so over ultrasounds.

He even took the measurements differently. Instead of finding a good view and taking the lines as exactly to the edge as possible, he put it roughly at the edges several times and averaged it out. It might have been more accurate if he wasn't working from the same paused cross section.

Head slightly over average (sigh) and same for her belly, but then her legs seemed to come up really short in comparison. On the screen they came in at 31-33 weeks but then miraculously in my notes it said 34 weeks, so I'm a bit worried about that.

We wanted pics so I suggested taking them of her hands and feet... No, let's get some more crappy profile pics that show nothing because she's so huge now. They were so crap that we got them for free too. James seemed to be starting to worry that her nose is very wide, but that's my fault really because I thought it seemed like a huge nose on our 3d scan although it's very similar to James nose is what I meant lol

James doesn't have a particularly wide nose, but mine is narrow in comparison.

Anyway, so that was that and it was off to wait to see the consultant. I didn't know if it would be my last consultant appointment before I gave birth so I was keen to see the head guy but on the board it stated "not in clinic" which was just marvelous.

We were called in after about 30 mins and it was yet another never seen before consultant. She was a stocky Indian women that I'd place in her late 40's and she seemed like a bit of a no nonsense kind of person which I like.

I handed over my pee sample and then she looked over my notes and assured me that everything was fine with the baby. I went over to the bed for my blood pressure reading and as the nurse came over she stated to the consultant that I had "protein+" in my urine. I asked the nurse what that meant and she started to reply but the consultant cut other off and told me that it meant maybe an infection so the sample would be sent off but they wouldn't prescribe antibiotics anyway. Apparently it came mean pre eclampsia but my blood pressure came back normal. I thought maybe it was diabetes related but it isn't.

Dr Google says that it could simply be an indication that my kidneys are working hard which is normal during pregnancy, so I'm going to try looking after my kidneys a bit more by drinking plenty of water and things. I have been feeling thirsty. 

I sat back down and the consultant started talking about due date and things and I was expecting her to pretty much discharge me but instead she said something about me still being on Clexane meaning I should be conscious of trying to not have taken a dose for 24 hours before active labour due to bleeding risk and that she'd have me in again to discuss my options regarding induction.

I expressed surprise and said that I was hoping not to go over 40 weeks so she said she'd have me in to see a consultant again at 39 weeks.

It was a bit scary to be honest. I felt like I was already being admitted for an induction and it really hit home that I'm on the final stretch of the pregnancy. The next milestone is labour.

34 Weeks Pregnant, cont.

Urrrrrrrrghhh.

Really shouldn't have inhaled a large milkshake (and a cheeseburger) like that. 

Now the baby is pissed that I'm not in bed already and I'm polluting her with high sugar crap so I'm suffering with lots of karate kicks to all my sore zones. You'd think she'd be grateful but she's definitely a chocolate lover.

It wasn't banana flavoured enough either. I wanted it strong.

My muslins are out of the drier now, all shrivelled up. Then I dropped them on the floor... I'm not washing them again though. If baby is going to live here, she has to get used to the high level of filth that we encourage as a natural way of keeping our immune system strong. And as a way of getting out of mopping.

Where was I anyway? Oh pregnancy stuff.

I don't suppose you'd believe me if I said I'm not having any cravings, but the truth is that I'm not. Really. I think when you haven't had something with a distinct taste that you enjoy for yonks and someone mentions it, that you'd be chomping at the bit to get your hands on it pregnancy or not. 

I'm more suffering with foods I don't like. Well, I like them normally but I'm pretty fussy. Still off vegetables in their whole or mashed form. They have to be silky smooth or in a soup, but even then sweet veg like carrots don't get tolerated.

My back is killing me, really uncomfortable all day long and it's making me a bit snappy.

Still loving my bump.

Oh, my face is a bit dry.

That's it really. My weight is up a pound and a bit but not bothered about that.

34 Weeks Pregnant

Holy crap.

Did you know that I only have 21 days until I'm full term?!

The ladies in my pregnancy buddy groups are actually having their babies. I mean, they are actually no longer pregnant and instead have a baby in their arms. No, honestly! I'm not shitting you, they are really doing the whole labour thing.

It's getting to that point where I'm feeling a bit stressed about it all, not the having a baby part - bring it on!!! I say - but the whole ticking boxes part. 

I've just grabed all my muslins, changing mat covers, flannels and towels and started washing them. It broke my heart a little to take them out of their little neat packages but apparently it's very important to pre wash everything.

I can only assume this advice is sponsored by companies that sell baby fabrics so that you can no longer return them.

I got most of mine from John Lewis, I loooooooove JL, but even they might be pushed to take the items back seeing not only have I washed them but I've painstakingly removed all the labels too. You know it makes me wonder... Should they advertise items as being 100% cotton if they go and stick a plastic label on it?

I've still got a lot of other things to do too. I need to sort out my nappy stash and pack my hospital bag and paint the nursery decoration. In fact I think I need some shelves in the nursery too. Not to mention all the boxes and dividers required to organise all the baby stuff.

Then there is the Christmas stuff too! I've already got two cards so I really need to pull my finger out.

I'm thinking licking and sticking tomorrow and then post office and Ikea on Monday.

Some really evil bitch, well she isn't really at all actually, just suggested her thing being banana milkshake and now I'm chewing my arm off trying to figure out where I can find a banana milkshake at 10:30pm when it's a 30 min drive to the nearest McDs and Tesco. It'd be sooooooooo gooooooooood though.

Pregnancy wise - oh fuck it, I'm going to McDs now.

NCT Breastfeeding Class - 33+5

Yesterday we went to an extra NCT class, making it two for this week, and it covered breastfeeding and nothing else. It wasn't the usual tutor but an actual midwife who is also based my hospital which i felt was nice to be able to see her and dispel any preconceptions and fears I have about midwives.

Not that I assume that they are monsters or anything, but they have a very important role in a once in a lifetime event (you can't give birth to the same child twice) and they are selected randomly and like or loathe them you are pretty much stuck with them.

So, I was probably looking forward to the class more for the midwife than for the breastfeeding.

Skipping past the part where we turned up on a freezing cold and wet evening to find ourselves locked out of the hospital, we all eventually made our way into the usual room for the classes.

Looking around the classroom, there was a distinct lack of men. One couple were absent and then two partners were absent. James was kicking himself for not having managed to worm himself out of it suddenly fearing he was going to have a rubber breast strapped to himself, but I assure him that it was very important for him to be there so that he can be supportive and constructive when me and the baby are bawling in unison at 3am because breastfeeding is just not working and we don't know why.

The midwife was nice. Was she my kind of person? I'm not sure, probably not really. Could I live with her being the midwife on duty when I'm in labour? Yes... Maybe.

She spoke very sweetly, you know that voice you put on when you are trying to coax someone and you sound a bit like a baby? Well that one. She used that as her default voice but every so often she'd forget herself and the contrast between her cutesy voice and smile and her concentrating voice and expression was pretty stark. It made her a bit Jekyll and Hyde and I'm not sure I like that inconsistency,  not knowing which you're going to get.

As for the breastfeeding stuff, admittedly I felt that I pretty much had it sorted already and knew the general idea and it would just work itself out eventually if I kept at it. WRONG! 

I feel a million times better about having gone to the class. In fact it really opened my eyes about the how's and whys and I can spot all the people who should have gone to a class just like this and didn't! Their breastfeeding stresses and woes that actually worried me sometimes seem a bit "duh" now.

We looked at the baby's stomach size, that was actually represented by a marble for the first few days. Not a giant marble, but the standard size ones... Tiny!

We talked about the consistancy and colour of the milk and how to position the baby.

The most important thing was the latch of course and to demonstrate she pulled out a knitted boob and a hand puppet lol 

She was basically saying that if your nipples hurt or sting that your latch is wrong to some degree and creams shouldn't ever be necessary if you're doing it right. A dab of breastmilk will  sufficiently moisturise.

There was lots of other breastfeeding stuff covered too and she even assured me that my own plans for breastfeeding, which have been complicated by James wanting to do night feeds asap and also by us wanting to try for a sibling asap, were perfectly doable.

I did manage to get some information out of her about the hospital that I found reassuring. Just things like immediate skin to skin is now standard and they've moved away from medical labours.

At the end she gave us some literature to read and also explained how she isn't actually employed by the hospital but by some independant regulatory body that acts as a go between for mum and medical staff, so basically if I have any disagreements about what the medical professionals are trying to decide for me I can just phone them up and they will act as an intermediate to either argue my side to the hospital or explain the whys to me.

I didn't know such a thing existed so I'm very happy to have the 24/7 number.

Ouchie Cramp - 33+3

I had an awful cramp today and I even feared that it was an actual proper contraction, more because of the pain rather than the sensation.

I've had Braxton Hicks several times most days in phases. I went through a phase of having them often and then it had died down a bit and then these last couple of days I've noticed one every now and then.

Well, when it say notice, it's not a sensation of any sort. I just happen to notice that my bump has tightened up.

Anyway, today I've been feeling a bit tender in my tummy. Am I due another growth spirt? Was it the kebab last night? Was it the aqua fitness? Who knows. It could be any of these things.

So I went to the toilet just for a wee and as I sat down I kind of hunched forward and suddenly my tummy went really tight but it was really painful and crampy too.

When I say really painful, I mean it was kind of like a period pain and gas pains and a pulled muscle pain all at the same time. Not that I was doubled over. It was probably more scary than painful, but it ached and it continued for the entire time that it took for me to go downstairs and tell James all about it and pace around the kitchen for a while.

I'd say maybe it lasted... Oh I dunno. Perhaps 2 or 3 minutes.

Once it faded, I was left with a lingering awareness of the tender tummy. I hadn't really noticed it before the cramp.

James seemed to start fretting that it might mean baby wants out but I assured him it was just a one off nothing so then he started fretting that maybe has turned because that is supposed to hurt. I tried to reassure him again but he was set on it meaning something as per usual. I really feel like I can't say anything to him sometimes without me having to support HIM through it.

Since, my tummy has also felt harder and when I went to NCT tonight the first thing the tutor said was that my tummy had changed shape. I was very out front and up high.

I mentioned the cramp expecting her to play it down but she didn't really acknowledge it and then said, "oh well I hope you don't get any more cramps like that" which made it sound like she thought it sounded like a proper contraction.

I don't feel particularly bothered by it, although the thought of experiencing similar or possibly worse cramps at regular intervals for several hours during labour is a bit intimidating.