Yes, there is still no progress.
Yes, I'm getting desparate.
I've been brooding about my sweep not doing a bloody thing and my hospital due date having been and gone and my induction supposed to have been yesterday and James not getting to share his birthday with his baby and STILL no indication that labour might kick off anytime soon...
Oh and bloody Zara Philips having her little girl right on que. Cow. I'm just waiting to hear what the baby name is now.
So, I've progressed onto DIY sweeps.
Before you start on me, it's not rocket science. Sterile conditions are a case of common sense, a willy being up there is much less hygenic and the only risk to baby is if you do it when baby's head isn't engaged. Worst case scenario when all boxes are ticked is that you rupture your waters and have a baby more suddenly than anticipated but the membranes are tough and don't just break like that.
When I tried in the bath yesterday, I could feel my cervix but it felt weird like a pair of puckered lips with an undeniable crater in the middle. When people talk about an open or closed cervix in ttc I've never quite felt any difference but this time the hole feels huge. I couldn't reach properly inside my cervix though so proceeding was a bit pointless. I just gave it a bashing from the side as best as I could but without it ultimately having any impact at all.
At a loss, I somehow managed to recruit James into the role of midwife for today which really surprised me because he's normally way too sensible and wussy to try anything like that.
He did pull a face and complain but it seemed more like he was just going through the motions because the next thing I knew I was trimming his nails and he was sterilising his hands and we were up in the bedroom, me with my legs spread and him looking very serious and focused. He would have made a very sexy doctor.
I explained to him what he should feel and what he should do, but my big insistence was that there was no rush and he could take his time to ask questions and act deliberately. The last thing I wanted was for him to panic and do something stupid.
He was brilliant though. He said he'd found the cervix, he said he'd got his finger inside and he said that he was stretching it.
The problem was that I couldn't feel a thing. Not a thing.
I asked him again and again if he was sure and he said that he was although he was starting to doubt himself because he too couldn't comprehend how I wasn't feeling what he was doing.
He assured me that he was doing a thorough job of it so I asked him to do it extra vigorously before finishing at which point I was aware of an acceleration in his movement but still didn't feel a thing.
Ultimately I just had to trust that he wasn't bullshitting me or being an idiot about it, which of course I do. Honestly! Definitely 99.9% sure...
...I just wish I could have done it myself to be 100% convinced.
Why I don't feel anything is a mystery. No one on the internet claims that they didn't feel a thing and although there is a suggestion that if you're favourable that you feel it much less, if I'm so favourable that I feel nothing then why isn't the baby coming out yet?
I spent the rest of the day attached to my ball while waiting for the sweep to kick in. I don't think I've been as dedicated to it more than I was today because I haven't even sat on the couch, certainly not lay on the couch. My back has been vertical all day long - and it's killing! I'm not even lying down to sleep, I'm propping myself up! Now that is desperation.
As for whether or not the sweep worked, it would seem not as dramatically as I'd hoped. Bump has been fairly hard throughout the day and I even thought possibly a few BH occurred consecutively every 10-15 mins but there was no massive show or blood. Maybe some low cramping initially but nothing since.
I guess we'll just have to see what tomorrow brings.
I was thinking another sweep on the 19th but I might actually just have another tomorrow too. Why not? I felt nothing during and feel fine since.
If she's not here by the 20th, then she can come whenever she bloody well wants to so I might as well go all out until then.
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