40+7 Weeks Pregnant

Well, technically I'm actually 40+10 days pregnant according to the Nhs. I disagree with that gestation, but at the end of the day that is how I'd compare to the rest of the population who would all have their gestation based upon their 12 week dating scan too.

They don't count in weeks after 40, you get to 40 weeks and then they count the days beyond that which is why I'm "+10" as in I'm 10 days overdue.

This week has been a hard one. Not gruelling hard, but emotionally challenging. Everyone likes to think that their lives will pan out a certain way in the absence of reason to assume otherwise and yet without any hint of the reason why, my baby has decided to refuse to make an appearance and doesn't seem to have any intention of making an appearance anytime soon.

Unfortunately that then forces you to start looking for reasons and, while I do skim over the prospect that maybe she is just happy in my belly with my dedication to supplementation, eating well and having consistently perfect vital stats, it is hard not to dwell on the possibility that maybe there is an unforeseen problem. The main two possibilities that I focus on is that my pelvis is crap and she can't settle into it nor escape from it or that she is wrapped in the umbilical cord and left dangling.

So, I've been mostly fretting and stressing.

Now that I'm at the end of the week and only 38 hours away from my induction I'm finally feeling a bit more reflective and even grateful to an extent.

You do try to appreciate what you have but sometimes you can lose yourself in preparations and worries, especially when you don't know when or how it will all come to its conclusion.

Now that I know how and when it will happen, I am able to take advantage of savouring the final moments. I can memorise how she feels, how she moves, how I look. She's quite wiggly today and while James is sitting there with the rugby on, I'm watching her and interacting with her and talking to her. We've discussed how mangled she feels and how she needs to be brave on Monday and how I hope she has blue eyes.

I've convinced myself she is her father in every which way so the eye colour is the only thing that might identify us as mother and daughter in photos and things. I'm under no delusion though. Her resemblance to me is going to start and finish at her stubby legs which I'm sure she'll be very grateful for... Not.

I wish I had something more special planned for tomorrow as it will be our very last day as a couple but I don't know what might even be a good idea. Where will we be banned from once we have a baby?

Symptom wise I'm exactly the same as I was. A bit moody sometimes and I'm more blocked up in the toilet department, but besides that I'm just the same. 

There is a god in the weight department. I was so close to the next stone range last week and I was extremely nervous jumping on the scales this week but thank fuck I haven't put any on! Yessssssss!