I've been meaning to go to aqua natal since the beginning of my pregnancy but I put it off to 12 weeks and then 20 and then 24 weeks and even then I already missed Mondays class and was so close to backing out of today's class too!
It's because I have to drive for 30 mins each way and I hate hate hate getting out of the pool and having to get washed and dressed while still stinking of chlorine.
I'd already made plans with James for him to take me on the next Mondays class instead of going tonight but at the last minute I found myself throwing my costume under my clothes, grabbing my pre packed swimming bag and jumping into the car.
My local pool is really small so I was looking forward to seeing a proper pool but as I entered the building my first thought was "ick". Everything had a funny brown tinge to it and it was so dated. I went to the desk to pay for my admission and was asked if it was my first time at the class and then handed the previously mentioned medical form to fill out.
I looked around and tried finding the changing rooms. None of the signs said changing rooms and there was a door with a ladies sign on the front... Just the bloody toilets. I asked at the desk and with a roll of the eyes was directed through some unmarked doors and told they were on the left.
I threw my clothes off and asked a cleaner women who was pushing water into the drains which way to go to the pool.
The pool was also ick. Not much bigger than my local pool and more brown. Crap, still got my glasses on so back to the changing rooms i went.
Returning to the poolside there was no sign of any aqua natal class so I double checked with the lifeguards who confirmed I was in the right place but it wasn't time yet. There was only 10 minutes to go so I got into the pool and I actually thought it felt quite warm for a couple of minutes but it soon started to feel pretty chilly so I did a couple of lengths while keeping an eye out for any pregnant women but couldn't see any.
I bobbed around for a bit and looked around and spotted a sinewy women walking along the side of the pool dragging a suitcase with her who paused briefly to acknowledge a couple of ladies sitting in the observer seating area. The instructor and some pregnant women?
It was time for the class and the lifeguards started removing the ropes that were dividing the pool into lanes and booting everyone else out. The two pregnant women in the seats entered the pool and a third women appeared from the changing rooms. Actually the third women looked familiar, I think she was at the positive birth meeting but she didn't seem to recognise me at all. Charming.
The three women went right past me as I bobbed around in the shallows not knowing where to go or what to do. The instructor went to her "suitcase" and she pressed the top of it and it started blaring "Oh Mickey your so fine your so fine you blow my mind! Hey Mickey! Hey Mickey".
Fucking hell, you've got to be kidding me.
Without a word to any of us the instructor put a headset on with a microphone and started barking out instructions in a tone that expressed a total lack of any enthusiasm for her role.
The other girls started following directions and there I was still bobbing around in the shallows so I swam over and didn't even know where to stick myself. How deep was a supposed to go?
The instructor - no she never introduced herself either - limply attempted to show us what we should be doing but it's a bit different considering she was on dry land and we were all at varying depths of water.
A fourth girl appeared from the changing rooms and swam to the back of the class and it seemed to me that it was her first time too because she seemed to know as little as I did but also lacked the confidence to give it a proper go too. I noticed she had a lot of makeup on too which seemed like a rookie mistake.
It was basically aerobics but in water. March forward, march backwards, march sidewards and then back again. Do some star jumps, making sure your shoulders go into the water and out again.
Again and again and again.
It was slow going at first and I looked across the clock and was surprised to see that 20 minutes had gone. I was still chilly, my skin was pruning up and my mind started to wonder. Every so often the instructor would show us what to do and suddenly start limping and grimacing as if she was suffering from some kind of injury in her leg. She'd stagger and I'd amuse myself with visions of her walking off the edge and into the pool.
I also noticed none of the other girls had any goggles with them (don't worry, I wasn't wearing mine they were on my head) and they all had tight high buns and so far managed to keep their hair bone dry. I was soaking.
Then there were a few new moves added into the mix. Coordinated kicks and arm stretched on opposite sides and side kicks. Instead of just marching to the side we were told to gallop and push the water with our hands. Repeated again and again.
These were better and it felt a bit more like dancing.
Then with about 15 minutes of the 45 minutes left, she handed out some floats that resembled giant foam hair curlers. Long tubes that we were instructed to place between our legs and balance upon as we "cycled" with our legs into the deep end.
Needless to say this was my favourite part of the lesson. I haven't had any decent action in the the knicker department for way too many months to actually count so it was nice to be reassured that I still had any sensation down there at all.
Then it was more of the same, star jumps and kicks and things but I did find doing it this way to be more taxing. The floats were so long though that every now and again it would slap me across the face but besides that they were good.
Hang on a sec, the instructor actually seemed to be attempting eye contact with me and ventured to even flash me a smile! I suppose from her point of view she was watching a load of pregnant women getting poked in the eye every so often by the giant strap on they were each riding. Even the most miserable or people would find it hard not to crack a smile.
All too soon it was back to the more shallow water where we did some stretches and that was that. Almost. Unfortunately right at the end we had to join hands to form a circle and go around one way and then back the other and then she actually expected us to come together in the middle of the circle and clap and cheer at our selves. We just kind of gawked awkwardly at each other instead.
It seemed like a mad dash to the changing rooms but I found myself next to the newbie however on asking her if it was her first time too she revealed she'd been a few times but not for a while. Go figure.
That seemed to be the general consensus as I attempted conversation in the showers with the couple of girls that actually spent some time washing the chlorine off themselves. Neither "had been for ages". Their names remained unknown but one was 27 weeks and the other 30 weeks and neither knew the gender. Neither bothered saying bye as they left the showers not to be seen again.
The showers were bloody hot so it took me a while and then as I went back towards my locker the same women was still pushing water in the drains! I said something like "still here?" as I approached and I suppose as I said it I meant to suggest that her job was never done and that is how she took it as she playfully huffed. It was only as I dried myself that it occurred to me that in actual effect she'd done fuck all for the last hour.
I'd managed to get dressed and then I realised that I still had to brush my hair and it felt like a giant knot on my head. Since I've gotten pregnant my hair has been really tricky to get the knots out of and I've become quite hair sore. I got out of it though, it turned out I'd forgotten my hairbrush!
I've still got the knot of hair on my head now as I lie in bed. Surely it will be easier to do in the morning when it's dried...
Anyway. I still hate the swimming baths but I guess the aqua natal is worth another go. I'm not totally convinced though.
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