20 Weeks Pregnant

I can't believe that I'm 20 weeks pregnant!

Me.

20 weeks pregnant!?

I'm half way through my pregnancy already?!?!?!

I have often seen the advice being given to others that they should make the most of their pregnancy because it goes so quickly and at the time I could appreciate that pregnancy was probably one of those things that seemed to come and go, but I could not comprehend just how quickly it actually flies by.

I seem to have been instantly transported from a BFP to 20 weeks pregnant and I can only assume that before I can blink I'll be on my way home with my baby in my arms. It's crazy.

However, it is strange to note that all in all my life and body are still very similar to what they were before I was pregnant too.

I keep on waiting for this momentous change to occur. I wanted it so badly and so far I can't really see why. Not that I'd give it up for anything, but even that feels more like a preprogrammed response.

I dunno. I guess I'm waiting to fall in love with my baby and am a little surprised that it hasn't happened yet. Actually I feel more in love with it as I type about it, but still, where are the fireworks?

I've got my gender reveal tomorrow (eep!) so I'm hoping that being able to acknowledge my son or daughter will help me start to form an idea of the babies identity that I can get to know.

Anyway.

So this week has had some real highlights and some really sucky bits too. 

Firstly, James felt baby move! It was several days ago actually and probably should have gone into last weeks update. It was really cool though. I had been getting him to try for a few days but nothing because you have to kind of guess where the next hit will be to feel it. Well, I felt this hard lump and the kicks were really quite strong in the same place so I grabbed his hand and placed it near to my I belly button and bam! He felt it! I could tell that he was chuffed to bits and it was really sweet.

The movements in general have become a lot stronger and I actually felt a couple when I was standing up the the day when they are always when I'm sitting or using down, and have been since actually.

The bad thing is that I have had the worse stretching pains all in the my groin area and up my stomach. It's a really intense burning aching feeling and it lasted a few days and was starting to get me a bit frustrated.

I've actually been starting to feel a lot more tired again too.

I nearly passed out in Debenhams today, they just don't have enough (any) chairs for people to sit on while they are waiting for huge queues to go down.

My back and feet are killing me and I just feel run down in general.

I've been worrying about premature labour after deciding its the only thing that could kill off baby at this point so have been staying hydrated and full of calcium as recommended. I can't wait for 24 weeks!

I had a feeling that I might have a UTI brewing after a couple of days not drinking enough so I'm downing lots of pomegranate juice, my stools seemed to have hardened up and my boobs suddenly seem very blue with veins.

I only put on 0.2lbs this week which is nice!

 

19 Weeks Pregnant

Posting a day late due to a weekend with my brother staying over.

I've found that I'm getting more and more excited about finding out the genders since having the scan on Tuesday. I'm more excited about becoming a mum and I have moments where I start smirking to myself randomly. When I put it into the context of me having a son or a daughter, it's really weird but not in an overwhelming way. I become a giggling school girl. I'm really really looking forward to it. 

I feel that it will be the start of finally being pregnant in the cliche super happy way because I'll be able to go crazy providing my child with it's identity through its clothing and environment. I'll be able to allocate it's name and start dreaming about its future.

It's going to be a busy week sorting out the house and things and I'm finding the whole concept of throwing a party really overwhelming.

I knew early on that I wanted a gender reveal party but I wasn't sure why. I know that some people think its a bit naff, but their reasons for being so against them seemed to revolve around assuming that others motivations were as materialistic as they themselves must be. I don't want gifts, I want to share a moment with my nearest and dearest.

It was only the other day when I was watching YouTube that there was another IVFer who was having a gender reveal and they put their reasoning into the context of wanting to make up for the fact that they didn't get to make a big announcement about their pregnancy due to everyone being in expectation of it due to knowing about the IVF. I can relate to that.

This week symptom wise I've noticed that my gum has started bleeding. It normally bleeds anyway just from one particular place between two of my molars and then ironically when I got pregnant it stopped. It hasn't bled for all this time and now it's just started up again. It happens when I suck the area to get food out and things.

I've also had very loose stools. I don't go for days on end as if I had typical constipation but then when I do go instead of it being compacted and difficult to move, it's loose. It's not liquid but definitely wet.

I've been getting a lot of pains again in my groin, quite sore, and after I ate the other day my skin even felt slightly tight. I think I've got another couple of weeks before I need to start using the stretch mark cream, which I don't really believe in the effectiveness of anyway.

Skin clear, boobs larger but not sore and everything else that i can think of seems normal.

My weight is up another 1lb to total and increase of 12.4lb which is pretty depressing. My BMI was 30 so I was right on the boundary for whether I should gain a maximum of 11 or 8 lbs during this time but considering how much I have gained I'm going to go with 11lbs! Just a little over, right? No big deal...

Baby is still wiggling, although it seems to have days where it wiggles constantly and then days like today where it hardly wiggles at all and it drives me crazy.

Gender Scan for Gender Reveal Party - 18+3

What a day.

I wake up and in the same manner that my hand has done for the past month, it reaches down to feel my solid little bump.

This morning? No bump.

I feel around and there is nothing there, i feel completely flat and squidgy. So, i start to freak out like any rational first time mum to be would do. I actually wondered for a brief moment if i was actually ever pregnant and if it was all just a crazy dream.

I've had plenty of pregnancy dreams before only to wake up broken hearted.

I went for a wee while contemplating what happened to my bump and fortunately after the epic wee - it returned! Phew! I don't normally wake up bursting and i can only assume it has been lifted into an unfamiliar position where i couldn't feel it.

Drama over, it was time to do some gardening and then i had a bath so that we could set off for the gender scan.

After making the scan appointment i had recieved a letter containing lots of capital letters and "very importants" basically telling me what to do in the run up to the scan.

It included staying very hydrated for a week in advance, eating a meal 2 hours before, having a sugary snack and a walk 20 minutes before and not poking baby because "it doesn't like it". This stated by the company who makes its money off poking babies.

First stop was Nandos for the meal. Then we walked around IKEA so i could get myself a stool to DIY into a birthing stool (i kid you not). Then we headed to the scan premises, along the way i munched down a Double Decker but i haven't eaten a chocolate bar since before i was even pregnant so i really hard to force it down. It was so sickly sweet.

When we finally arrived, it wasn't really what i was expecting. The outside was really grubby and i questioned whether i should even go inside, but when i did it seemed nicer. That was until i was met by the attendant.

He was loud and intrusive and although in one way i warmed to his apparent friendliness, in another way i found the whole thing rather unprofessional. He was instantly calling me Looby Lou when getting my attention and telling me how much all his machines cost and how much debt he was in paying for them.

When i told him i wanted the scan recording he told me no and that the baby would be too small for that even though i've already got decent looking videos from as early as 8 weeks. I explained that i'd emailed and was told it would be fine, but he said no. That was until i elaborated that the email said it would cost me £20 and all of a sudden everything was ok!

"Princess, it's your turn to go in", so i headed into the scan room and was greeted by two women. One who was manning the ultrasound probe and the other who i didn't know the role of really.

I explained to them about not wanting to know the gender but wanting the whole thing on DVD and i wouldn't look at the screen and they didn't have to say a thing during the whole scan. They said that would be fine.

So they get started and as it turns out the second womens role is to provide the running commentary and she was apparently going to do it regardless of my request.

"Oh baby just butted your bladder! The heart is beating well and everything looks great".

Then they did the gender bit while i looked away, which was tricky with there being a screen on every wall. Instead i closed my eyes.

Then i was told by gobbo that it was ok to look from now on. I expressed that it was probably not a good idea but she assured me that they do these all the time and that they have to zoom in close to see anything so i wouldn't be able to see anything just looking at the baby.

I risked a peek just to see baby open it's mouth really wide.

"Oh baby is yawning, awww look at that! Can you see that?!"

I watched on as the baby continued to hold it's mouth open... It seemed to me that the baby was crying, not yawning. All evidence suggests that my baby does not like being scanned.

"Awwww theres the little legs kicking away! Can you see that?! Isn't is amazing!!!"

Common sense dictated to me that if you can see the legs and don't want to know the gender that you should stop watching, so at this point i did and didn't look again.

Instead i endured the horse race style running commentary that was a bit redundant on someone not watching the screen. I was just focused on keeping everything crossed that she didn't slip up during her ramblings.

At one point i actually thought that she had done. She said something like "It's really hard to see the gender at this stage, even with boys. With boys even at a later stage it's tricky, any boys". There was an irregularity in the volume and pace at which she said it. She seemed to say boys really loudly, like she choked on the word. At the time i was sure she'd blabbed but as time goes on it becomes easier to dismiss as a general comment.

There was one nice thing she said. She said something about the baby keeping it's hands near to it's head so we'd have to get it some mittens once it was born. I found that sweet, to think of it haven't a personality trait already.

At one point she claimed it was chewing on it's arm too.

The deal was for a DVD with the scan video on it and then 15 photos without the gender on a CD and then 4 of those photos printed off.

When the scan was finished and i went back to the reception, i was met by the smell coming off the guy before he actually reached me. His behaviour suddenly made sense. He was pissed! No joke, from the smell of him he must have bathed in the stuff. How i'd missed it before i have no idea.

"Looooooooby Lou Looby Lou Lou Lou - how'd it go?"

He was harmless enough and he got the photos up and explained that i needed to write down the corresponding numbers of the prints i wanted out of the 10 (?!) photos taken.

Flicking through them, they were all shit, and one actually showed the genitals on it. Luckily, i don't know if that particular view of the genitals is a girl or a boy because it basically showed two tiny glowing circles between the legs that you might think testicles but could also be the labia majora i guess.

The running trend in all the photos was that the baby was crying. I'll have to google if they do cry at this stage but the mouth was wide open anyway - poor baby.

I paid and left and went back to James who was waiting in the car. I'd made him stay there for damage limitation if they did blab. I was aware that i was smirking when i got into the car, probably because i felt they'd blabbed, and his first question was if i knew the gender to which i replied that i didn't.

I showed him the photos and he was clearly disappointed by them because he asked if everything was ok because the baby looked so distorted. Maybe he had high expectations on what the baby would look like considering the clarity of the last scan which was about 6 weeks ago.

I explained to him that we have a squarking baby who likes to self harm and he seemed quite content with that. Baby is clearly as antisocial as we are... girl or boy - it's a Brown!

18 Weeks Pregnant

It's starting to get to that point where I'm a bit overwhelmed at how far I am into my pregnancy. I remember celebrating with hubby moving into less than 200 days left and now I'm a few days off 150 days to go.

I'm counting the days until the gender reveal, 24 weeks and of course my due date.

I went through a stage of not wanting to think about labour, the concept terrified me even though previously I was a bit more "Bring it on!". Now I'm starting to feel calmly resigned to my fate and am trying to read into what labour involves in terms of stages and what is happening and how it might fell so at least I will be expecting it.

I've also started looking into DIY inducement because I would really like the baby to come on or before it's due date so that it can be a Capricorn like me and James. I probably make myself sound like a fan of mystic meg, but I never actually check my horoscope. It's just that it also categorises personality and me and James are very similar in so many ways that its a bit strange, so I'd just feel more assured that the baby would be like us if it was a Capricorn too... Even as I type it, I'm rolling my eyes at myself but that's how I feel :P

I actually came across a rather disgusting fact about the gel that they use to ripen the cervix during medical inducement is actually sourced from cow, pig and human SPERM! A random variety of mammal sperm is administered up your vagina - it's just not right.

In conclusion, James will be crying rape if I haven't gone into labour by 39 weeks. Im not ingesting the stuff like recommended for maximum uptake though. I've tried that before and nearly puked so never again. That's probably tmi but I'm not very good at identifying that, so I'll assume not.

I got my first maternity hand outs today from a friend. Ick. It's a nice thought but I don't do seconds, especially when I know the giver. Maybe she's trying to tell me something though...

I also bought my first maternity leggings! I was so super excited but they are HUGE. My normal size but the legs are waaaaaaay too long and there is this panel at the front that just flaps forward but there is no way that I'm ever going to fill them even if I was having quads! Such a disappointment.

The baby is still wiggling away, but I've noticed it's less so when my clothes are loose. I do have my moments now where I get frustrated at any reduction in movement but I am trying to get a grip.

I had a bit of a scary thing happen yesterday. I had an orgasm (tmi?) and my uterus went rock hard, like it is first thing in the morning but this was at night. I found it really scary for it to have such an immediate and obvious impact on my pregnancy and although nothing bad has come of it I don't think  it'll be happening again.

Weight wise I'm up another 0.8lbs which is better than after last weeks gorging, but still isn't great overall. I'm upto 11lbs now and I should probably have a few no gain weeks to be honest to get me back on track.

Symptom wise they are none existent. I have my bump and I guess my joints, particularly my knees, burn a bit sometimes but that is more weight related than pregnancy related.

Red Cabbage Gender Test

I've only got a week to go until my gender scan (not finding out then btw, we're waiting for the gender reveal "party") but i've been playing with some gender prediction tests.

I don't actually believe any of them to be accurate btw, it's just for fun!

I did the test about 2 weeks ago and just didn't get around to posting it up because James phone wouldn't send the pics via email.

The red cabbage test is basically chopping up a red cabbage, boiling it and then mixing some urine with some of the cabbage water.

The cabbage water is suppose to start of blue/purple and then the water stays the same for a girl or turns red for a boy.

The science behind it seems to be that the urine of a person carrying a boy is supposed to be more acidic and cause a chemical reaction of sorts to change the colour of the cabbage water.

That said, when i have a UTI i'm told to exclude acidic things from my diet to keep my pee alkaline so that implies to me that diet can have a significant impact on the outcome of this test.

Here is a pic of my results before dilution (to see the colour better). The left glass is the cabbage water without urine and the right glass is with the urine:

Here are the same glasses after dilution:

The floating bits are just cabbage btw!

It seems to me that the red cabbage test predicts GIRL

17 Weeks Pregnant

Ok, so a day late. I had a loooooooong day yesterday and didn't get back in until 01:30. 

This week on the whole had been quite uneventful except for me really starting to believe that I was at times actually feeling the baby moving!

I've been "feeling" it since I turned 15 weeks but it was just a couple of brief bubbles and then nothing for hours so I figured it could easily be something else.

However since I hit 16 weeks I've been feeling it more often and stronger and one time it went on for a few moments right in the same places, whereas gas tends to migrate and results in me needing to release it.

I wouldn't say it feels like butterflies or flutters though. I suppose popping bubbles is the most accurate of the commonly used descriptions but to me it feels exactly how I'd imagined it to feel. It feels like someone is flicking me from inside.

I described it to James as if someone is poking me on the inside of my cheek.

Just this last day or two I've also been getting more pains in my stomach but they are worse than before. I feel like I've been doing stomach crunches for an hour. I ache from under my ribs right down my front and past my bladder.

I went for a wee yesterday and as my bladder emptied my whole stomach throbbed with the change in pressure and right at that point the baby kicked and I let out a gasp in pain. I felt pretty self conscious after that. Strange noises coming from the public bathroom.

My boobs are frickin HUGE. I thought they were big already but it seems that they have doubled in size overnight. Perhaps my bump would look bigger if my boobs would stop growing as the same rate!

I have had a bit of bump envy. I want a big round bump and feel frustrated at anyone else that does regardless of how far along they are in comparison. It just seems that my bump doesn't reflect the fact that have a baby in my belly that is now about 12cm long.

My weight has jumped up this week but I have been eating a lot of food. Lots of eating out and I know it's bad but it's what I want... The thought of eating cooked vegetables, especially green ones, has been my main aversion this whole pregnancy and making any sort of veg at home feels like too great a task. Alas, I'm going to have to go on a diet from tomorrow. Not a diet diet, but the sensible cereal for breakfast and soup for lunch and lean meat for tea with fruit for snacks.

I've put on 10lbs so far and based upon my start BMI I shouldn't put on more than 25lbs for the whole pregnancy. I'm coming up to half way in both gestation and weight gain, except by the end of the first half the baby is the size of an apple and in the second it's the size of a melon so it's not exactly a 50:50 split.

I reckon you'd put on about a third of the total in the first trimester, so at this rate I'm heading for 30+ lbs already. Urgh.

My skin isn't so bad anymore, less so if I'd stop picking.

My hairiness is unnoticeable I think.

Oh, my thumbs have a fungal infection which is a bit of a nightmare. They are sore, contagious and I'm under the impression that any anti fungals are a no no. I think I got it from cutting James toe nails for him as he's a diabetic and is supposed to keep on top of them, and doesn't. Ick.

Right, I'm off out for my last "supper". Full English please!

Midwife Appointment - 16+2

I had my 16 week midwife appointment today and it was... ok, i guess.

We had to wait for about 30 mins past the appointment time so i was starting to feel a bit queasy as i do in stuffy rooms, so was relieved when we was finally called in. James was with me this time.

I get in and sit down and she takes the urine sample i'd brought off me and dips a multicoloured stick in it. She didn't say anything about the results, if they are instantaneous, nor did she mention any results from my previous urine dip tests. I ahve no idea what they are for but google says proteins or something.

She had some blood results on the screen and i could see lots of red highlights and exclamation marks but in spite of this she briefly commented that the results were normal.

James was as satisfied as me by her response and asked what all the red meant if they were normal. She skimmed over something about my white blood cell count being high but there was no symptoms of infection at the last appointment and that pregnancy can cause high wbc so she wasn't concerned.

She quickly changed the topic and offered me a leaflet for local antenatal classes and recommended which i should sign up for, the one starting in November.

Then she ushered me over onto the bed for my blood pressure and to hear babies heartbeat (yay!).

Blood pressure was normal as always.

Then we got the camera at the ready to record the heartbeat but she requested we gave her a few minutes to find it first but she literally placed the probed in one place on my stomach and without even moving it the heartbeat was thumping away. I fumbled to get the camera going but there was plenty of time to get a decent amount recorded.

I reckon baby must have been asleep and then during he woke up and swam off lol

He isn't normally so accommodating!

I asked the midwife about my pains down below and she immediately put them down to stretching without asking me anything about them. Not where abouts or how long the pains last or how many days i've had this symptom - nothing.

She asked if we had any other questions, which we didn't, but as soon as we left we were both discussing the high wbc count. It wasn't the only thing highlighted. There was about four or five other things too.

James has suggested phoning up the fertility clinic as i was on medications to reduce my wbc which i stopped at 12 weeks, and although i am tempted, i don't have the actual readings for my wbc from the midwife.

I don't know how to get them off the midwife now though.

16 Weeks Pregnant

Bah, I'm getting bored of this pregnancy lark already. Fast forward...ummm... 5 months please!

Still no movement felt from baby and I feel as if my belly isn't getting bigger anymore either.

I would like to make a complaint about my symptoms too, and no I won't apologise for sounding ungrateful either. I always made a point of reserving the right to complain about pregnancy by not complaining about the lucky cows who caught first cycle from complaining.

It's my pregnancy dammit and I'll whinge if I want to!

This week has been very uncomfortable. The heat is making me have to run from stuffy rooms because I feel like I'm not getting enough oxygen and all I have symptom wise is shooting pains in my cervix/bum and a very tender groin and abdomen that ache and twinge repeatedly throughout the day.

My back is killing me too.

So, in short, nothing exciting from baby and lots of pain for me.

My skin is clearer and I haven't felt as hairy recently so I guess that is something.

Weight wise I'm now up 8lbs total which is apparently 2lbs too many for someone who was already fat *sigh*

If I see or hear anything else about me "blooming" by now I'm going to flip.